Disco Party

The Text Exchange

Lisa: Do you want to go to a Korean bathhouse in a really bad part of town with me tomorrow?

Erin: Okay.

Lisa: We have to be naked.

Erin: You are going to be jealous of my svelte vagina.

Lisa: I will pick you up at 11:00.

Erin: Bye.

Lisa’s Version of Events

I wanted to go to a Korean bathhouse so I could blog about it. I have a total domineering personality so, it was not terribly challenging for me to convince Erin to go. These bathhouses are all the rage in California. Erin is going to act like a whiney little bitch when she tells her side but, I honestly had no idea that the bathhouse we went to was a covert sex house. Swear. To. God.

When I was informed of this establishment, I was simply told to be open-minded. I understood we would be naked the entire time and that we would be receiving massages. What I did NOT know is we would be showering in a community shower equipped with bar soap that had suspicious hairs and by “suspicious hairs” I mean disturbingly long pubes. I also had no idea that we walked in on two chicks getting it on in the steam room. Helllll-lllllo, I would have knocked.

The massage was admittedly a little aggressive…. Ninjas were literally climbing on top of us, slapping our arms and legs. I also do not recall being told that the “community” loofah they used to exfoliate us, would enter EVERY part of my body. As an esthetician, I was fine with my ass but, I totally drew the line when they tried to scrub my flawless face. Eew.

I avoided making eye contact with Erin because I could feel her retinas burning holes in my skin and frankly, her negative energy was ruining my Zen. Instead, I stared at her lady bits, figuring I would make us both dermatologist appointments for the following day and a couples therapy session for Friday to make amends. Truthfully, I will probably never invite her again.

Erin’s Version of Events

Lisa failed to mention that she also coerced our yoga instructor, Jen, to come with us. It was Jen’s birthday and a “Happy Ending” in a dirty Korean bathhouse is always a neat gift. Additionally, after a long anxiety ridden month waiting for what was ultimately Lisa’s negative diagnose for M.S., we decided to celebrate by contracting a venereal disease. Annnnd this is why I selflessly decided to go…to support them. Everyone should be my friend.

After visiting the shower room, I decided Jenny McCarthy’s anti-vaccination campaign was much less offensive than Cameron Diaz’s recent plight to end bush trimming. I exited the 70‘s disco party to go check out the “majestic waterfall” that Lisa had been describing. I was preeeeetty sure the waterfall was just a stream of asbestos and black mold pouring out of dilapidated ceiling tiles but, I didn’t want to ruin the party so I just stayed quiet.

To take my mind off of the situation, I tried to count all the tattoos of dream catchers and wolves on women’s arms as we all soaked in a dirty hottub together but, I lost count after 9,972. I then watched in fascination as our boobies kept floating to the surface while everyone else’s plummeted under. Jen wasn’t really speaking to either of us at this point but, I figured it was because she was so relaxed. I was happy to see her enjoying herself on her special day.

During my massage, Lisa’s voyeuristic vagina watched me the ENTIRE time so, I was never able to fully relax. It didn’t help that my masseuse gave me a titty twister and kept slapping me in the head, with her stomach and boobs. Lisa “claims” I was angrily glaring at her. The truth was, I was completely void of feeling at this point.

Anywho, we are all almost finished taking our third round of broad-spectrum antibiotics, anti-fungals and anti-viral medications. Our next Girls’ Day is our blood draw at an infectious disease clinic in six months.

Lisa- Thank you for taking us from the confines of our gated community, if for no other reason than to remind us never to do it again.

P.S. Happy Birthday Jen. We hope it was all that you dreamed of and more.

XO, Lisa & Erin


Nerium Gate…Still?

I can’t believe we are still talking about this product  (yawn)  but I was seriously asked again about this multi-level non-miricle, total crapola, face cream several times again last week.  So, here again are my thoughts on this scam product.  I was actually shocked because I thought it had somewhat died, but apparently a new group of reps made a new batch of kool-aid and are are hitting the streets hard—offering you a glass. So as requested by many of my patients, here are my thoughts.

In a world filled with hype and over-promise, here we go again….. many of us have heard of this multi-level company that has developed a patent pending miracle cream that is  “better than Botox – Botox in a bottle.”  In fact, using this cream for only 30 days will give you the same results as a face lift.  It will erase your wrinkles, age-spots and pay your mortgage if you harass, er um…I mean convince all of your family, friends, colleagues and random strangers on the street to join your team.  There are postings all over social media of side-by-side before and after pictures promoting this ‘miracle’ product, and the results depicted are nothing less than amazing.  If you were to believe your eyes, you would think that this magical elixir will erase twenty years in a matter of minutes.  I will break down what you need to know so that you are educated before you are contacted by your neighbor or someone you haven’t talked to in 13 years that suddenly finds you on Facebook and wants to buy you a cup of kool-aid   I mean coffee.

The fact is that 86% of people use skin care products that are not suited for their skin type.  In my consultations, a vast majority of women tell me they have ‘sensitive skin.’  It usually  turns out, their ‘sensitive’ skin is of  their own doing.  It really is imperative to have a consultation with a skin care professional who is trained in skin care to help you establish a regime and pick the proper products customized to your skin. One product does not work for everyone.  Now, let’s talk about buying skin care products from your multi-level-marketing friends.  Maybe there are a few of them who are trained in skin histology and have real skin care knowledge selling these products. However, the majority are trained only on a business model which employs the direct-sales marketing concept and don’t have a clue about realistic results with a topical or anything else about effective skin care.  In fact, on social media I have seen posts repeatedly that say, “Don’t have any interest in skin?  That’s ok!  You don’t need to. You will love the 6 figure salary pouring in while working from home being your own boss, in your pajamas! (Now the pajamas part does interest me)  Contact me today to see how I’ve done it.”

Besides having no genuine interest in actual skin health, these sales people do not mention that what they are selling are not medical grade products (which you wouldn’t assume by the price).  It’s important to note that even medical grade products could NOT deliver shown results.  These home based products are not controlled by the FDA so they are formulated in a way that does not allow for penetration beneath the surface layer of the skin.  They are OTC (over the counter) products and do not treat skin conditions that results in the obvious signs of aging (loss of collagen, reproduction of damaged skin which reproduces the same damaged skin after every surface skin layer is shed).  OTC products are, by definition, formulated to be used by anyone and everyone; as such, they contain only minute amounts of the active ingredients that actually treat, repair, and correct skin problems.

It is unfortunate because some of these companies have some really great products.  The disconnect is when you have sales people who are more focused on earning their Mercedes and trips to Tahiti than they are in changing your skin.  They become delusional about the results they are advertising.  These days people desperately want to look younger so these reps have a huge audience to capture. And many take advantage of that.  If someone still really believes in a multi level product enough to sell it they need to learn, what can this product realistically do?  What can it not do?  So far, looking at these pictures, I would say you have some really mis-informed or un-educated sales people thinking they are selling surgical procedures instead of skin care.  Or is it possible that one of the side-effects of their product is loss of integrity?

So if you are going to buy something from your neighbors it should be Girl Scout cookies; helping a girl earn her patch….now that’s legit!

Check out below the ridiculous before and after photos they promote;

Mary used her miracle cream for less than 10 days.  She no longer has a double chin!  The product very obviously also tightened muscles and miraculously removed all excess skin. FANTASTIC.

Not only does the hand on the right look 40 years younger, the muscle mass has doubled in size.  I think the person on the left is actually dead.. so she’s come back to life, time traveled four decades into the past and as a bonus it gave her a nice tan.

Now let’s break this down from the consumer side.  Do you look at those ads and really believe those pictures?  Really?  I asked a well-respected cosmetic surgeon in Denver his thoughts on these picture and on a cream achieving these results and this was his response, “I can get the exact same results using butterscotch pudding for her skin care regimen, if I alter the camera angle in the after pic, apply some make up, and take the before when she happens to look her worst and the after on a day that she is a bit swollen (or I could just use Photoshop and eat the pudding).”  I couldn’t have said it better.

Please don’t fall for these bogus ‘non-miracle’ creams.  There are NO miracle creams on the market.  If there were, I would obviously enroll all of my clients, set them up on auto ship and quit my job.  Lastly,  please remember that not everyone is in the skin care industry because they are educated or passionate about skin.  They are simply selling a product that has promised to make them a lot of money if they work the pyramid correctly.  They can earn cars, trips, etc.   These are the same people who will move-on in about a year to the newest, next best thing and then sell you that.

I am in a tight spot posting this blog because I personally know people selling this product and promoting it on their Facebook.  Pretty sure I will quickly be deleted  from their social media after this post.  However, my commitment is to you, my client.  You have trusted me with your skin, and I take that very seriously.  My job is to keep you educated and informed, and I will never compromise that, even if it means challenging people I personally know.

As always, call or message me if you have further questions about this topic.  Unless you sell Nerium–then you probably shouldn’t call me.  And step away from the kool-aid stand.




Here’s Your Sign


Ok, so I was totally going to publish a skincare blog this time I swear. {Ok that’s a lie}. I feel like if you are reading my blog only for skincare answers you might just want to make an appointment with me, because lately we have other things to discuss. Like, I don’t think God likes it when you try and make deals with Him. At all. Turns out He’s not the betting kind.

Let me start at the beginning. I am completely addicted to Doctor Radio on Sirius Radio. I listen to everything: psychiatrists, primary care, gynecologists, cardiologists, dermatologists, etc., which has somewhat made me believe I am now a health professional. You know how some people get their Google degree? I have my Doctor Radio degree.  I will actually listen to an entire show (1 hour) on various healthcare topics and then go through my phone list trying to call people that I can share my information with. I will call Mariah, “Hi, do you have diabetes? No? No family members have diabetes? Ok… can I call you later?”  I need to find someone with diabetes. Or I’ll call Aimee after listening to a primary care doctor, “Aimee do you think your cough has turned into COPD? No? Ok… I need to call you back later I’m actually looking for somebody with COPD.”  I know, bad, bad habit. This is precisely why I never have my book club book read.  I’m busy continuing my education.

So, last week I take Blake to basketball practice and have 1-1/2 hours to kill. I am ecstatic because I can sit and listen to my show and not feel weird driving around for no reason to listen. I parked in the middle school parking lot, took off my flip flops and reclined my seat. NO~! They were talking about something I had already graduated from 😦 so I start flipping through the channels and end up on who else, Joel Olsteen. For those of you who don’t know who Joel Olsteen is, he’s a Christian mega church leader, speaker, etc. I actually cannot believe how many people this week had no idea who he is.  I mean his stuff is everywhere. But as you know, in life you always have those ‘one-uppers’. My friend Corrin for example is a church ‘one-upper’ — she was like, “No Lisa, I don’t know who Joel Olsteen is, I actually go to real church.”   I just stared at her.  Although I do get her point… you know like some people go to “real” medical school. Anyways, this blog is actually not about Joel Olsteen so whether you love him or hate him please do not write me about that.  I have no opinion. I just know he was on and for some crazy reason I kept him on, sitting in the middle of a parking lot, apparently trying to get right with God on a random Wednesday night in suburbia. It was actually eerie at points because it was like real church where you’re sitting there listening to the message and you’re like ummmm, this is weird, I feel like he’s talking to me. How does he know all of this stuff about me?  And you look around the parking lot feeling like Joel personally knows what’s going on, like in a minute he may bring up Doctor Radio.

So I listen to him for a while and then he closed his sermon asking, “Will you pray with me?”, you know, in his Texas accent. So I was like, “Ok Joel — sure I’ll pray with you”, and all I asked was for God to please let me know I’m on the right path in life, and if he could just send me a sign.  And then I told him that if he would give me a sign, I promised to stop reading horoscopes.  (I actually will read like twenty until I find one that I like). Joel then asked the listeners to call in and donate money and he would send me his book. And I’m like Joel,  I haven’t even read my last three book club books. I’m not buying your book.  And then he lost my attention.

A few minutes later Blake comes out of practice and we headed home. We were driving down a dark canyon that leads into my neighborhood and out of nowhere a deer runs full speed into my car.  Swear to God.  I made full blown eye contact with this deer before my car took him out. Blake screamed in terror as his Chick-fil-A went flying everywhere and the entire car shook. It. Was. Horrifying.  I’m assuming the deer did not limp away and the right side of my car didn’t handle it well either. Annnnnnd, I had no idea who to call, 911? The fire department? Animal control? AAA? Joel Olsteen? So I called my mother.

SO is it just me or was that sign a bit passive aggressive?  I hope this is ummmm, not a sign at all sign.  I think I’m going back to reading horoscopes—-the stars are so much more subtle.  And, back to Doctor Radio.

Be safe out there, it’s craZy!


And This Is All I Have To Show For My Sixty Dollar Co-Pay ~


So, I’ve been sick like….well all year. I’m the only person in my family that takes Juice Plus, drinks wheat grass, kale, and spinach, finds my Om’ and continues to house every possible virus that needs a place to dwell. My taco bell eating, not so namaste’, wheat grass despising friends …not so much. They are all healthy and totally annoying the shit out of me.  Catch something already.  So I went to my doctor yesterday to make sure I don’t have some rare disease—no I’m not being dramatic, I haven’t disclosed all of my symptoms. That would be awkward…. Anyways, I’m at the doctor’s office, the one I always swear I’m never going to again, because I’m always seen about 40 minutes past my appointment time….and patience is like the only thing I’ve never caught and it’s super rude.  Who has time to wait 40 minutes?  I mean besides me. EVERY TIME. For about 13 years… But, I love him and he comes in the room and I’m totally over it.  I love him because he gets me.  And I don’t even get me.  So his presence in my life is kinda necessary. Oh, and just to clarify this is my primary care doc. not a psychiatrist.  However he handles both positions.  Maybe I stay because I don’t have the energy to start over— explaining stuff to someone new.  I’m busy with other things.  Like sitting in his waiting room. When he walks in the first thing he says to me is, “So did you start teaching yoga?” Ummmmm…what? Did I say that?  Of course I did. After I took like my first yoga lesson I wanted to become a yoga teacher and wear lululemon clothes around town nibbling on kale chips, acting all balanced and zen.  Then I remembered I had a job and reports that were way late and clients booked out until the end of the year and meetings to prepare for. He looked at me like….duh I knew the answer –I’m just humoring myself.  Because he knows me well, I’m always looking for something new. I should totally ask to read my chart and see what things he has listed….all of my whimsical moments over the years.  Which many I have completed by the way.  Thank you 🙂 Except like organic composting and converting to Judaism. So that leads me to the point of my blog.  Change.  I know, you are rolling your eyes thinking –long story longer…..but as many of you know I used to be terrified of change.  I mean hello, I live 15 minutes from where I went to elementary school, 10 from my high school, the above doctor was actually my pediatrician,  hahha, just kidding…but you get my point.  After I left my appointment yesterday I realized that the older I get, the more comfortable I am with change.  Including exploring new things, deciding what I want or do not.  Regardless of fear or pleasing anyone else.  I no longer stay in situations that don’t suit me or stay in relationships that have no purpose.  I choose my friends wisely (remember I need soup often). The saying you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely. Couldn’t be more correct.  Some relationships, including family, aren’t meant to be, or are not repairable, and one of the hardest things in life is letting go of what you thought was real. but you must. Life is short and we realize this more with every passing year. So change better be an option. Our kids will leave and live their own lives and we better find and create one we love. And if I decide to be a yoga teaching, organic composting, jew…..Don’t worry…I’ll still be the one who makes your skin the best it’s ever looked.  Because in all of my life dabbling’s. Catching greased pigs and skin care are my forte’. Like I should get a medal for both. Oh wait… I do. And why am I always sick lately?  Well obviously my doctor didn’t have time to go over that. He was running like 40 minutes late for his next patient. Happy Sunday!

Love you all ~ Lisa

A blog from Erin…..


I Am a Dickhead

Two days before Mike and I left for California to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary, I decided to have a microderm and a “gentle” chemical peel to make my face glow much as it did the day he married me (yes, I was totally pregnant).  The procedure smarted a bit, but logic suggested this should be expected, since I was paying someone to put acid on my face.  Forty-five minutes later, my keen intuition suggested that something was definitely askew since my face was on fucking F.I.R.E.

By the time I got home, my face was oozing and bloody and my right eye was swelling shut.  I decided to take a painkiller and proceeded to experience the greatest forty minutes of my entire life.  So what that my face was dripping off onto my shirt?  I was energized and liberated in ways I had never felt before.  I wanted to clean my house, write a book, bathe the dogs, have another baby, have twelve more babies, hug some trees, start a revolution…I decided I was totally going to get addicted to that shit.  Annnnnd then I violently barfed it up and discovered Betty Ford was not in my future.

Mike came home and instead of feeling sorry for me like a normal husband would be when his wife has a botched cosmetic procedure, he was super pissed.  I was about to bust out my ole’ acting chops and pretend to cry, then realized not even commercials of starving Yorkies with Sarah McLachlan’s sorrowful voice droning on in the background would have made me drip salty tears onto my burning flesh wounds.  I switched tactics. “Great news! She said I would look radiant by this weekend!”  Mike stomped upstairs while I yelled after him, “I DID THIS FOR YOU MICHAEL!  WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU LOVE ME?!”  He yelled back, “HOW ABOUT YOU STOP FUCKING WITH YOUR FACE?”  Oh that’s realistic.  Eye roll.  I swear to God, he is so immature when we fight.

A few weeks later, my scabs had fallen off leaving bright pink scars in their place.  I was lying on a lounge chair in Mexico hiding under big sunglasses and a hat drifting in and out of sleep when I had a vision…I was lying on a heated massage table, swathed in faux fur blankets from Restoration Hardware, listening to vintage French music.  A beautiful, wrinkle-free angel floated over my face.  She was wearing chic Christian Louboutin pumps and a crisp white lab jacket with “Lisa” embroidered in calligraphy on the pocket and she was holding a laser.

Omg.  I needed to call Lisa.  Duh.  The Denver Skin Goddess.  I jumped up and ran behind a palm tree to make an international phone call.  Even though she was booked out for a solid month, I was able to finagle an appointment the following week due to the exaggerated duress in my voice.  I went back and flopped down next to Mike.  “Can I assume that you are experiencing an emergency, which is why you needed to make a fifty dollar phone call?”  I ignored him and cannonballed into the pool.

Now before you begin torturing me for Lisa’s phone number, I must warn you…she is sort of intimidating.  Her skin is flawless.  Her clothes are designer. Her office is immaculate.  Lisa has selflessly dedicated her life to making women prettier, a cause I wholeheartedly support and donate lots and lots and lots of money towards.  Simply put, she is everything I want to be.  She examined my face and gave me a magic potion made from foreskin.  I listened intently as she told me to rub penis on my face twice a day even though it “smelled a little funny.”  Copy that.  My skin was super pretty in college.  She knew what she was talking about.

Not surprisingly, Mike was unsupportive when I told him about my new skin regime.  He said he could not believe he was paying for foreskin.  Um….First of all, it is OUR money.  Second, it was way more cost effective to purchase wienie cream in the US than to send me to Europe for treatment since nobody circs over there.  Mike’s lack of foresight (hahaha that is almost like foreskin) totally unnerves me at times.

Okay so here’s the part you were waiting for….drumroll…wait fooooooor it…..wait fooooooooooooor it….MY FACE IS BETTER!!!  Lisa fixed me.  Even Mike agreed that my skin looks amazing.  Getting a chemical burn was the best thing EVER.  And because I am not a selfish, pretty hoarder, I will totally give you Lisa’s number with the understanding that you will not hog all her appointments.  Love to each of you fabulous creatures!  Have a wonderful weekend!  Smoochies! XO

Lisa’s Info:

Lisa Haigh

The Center For Aesthetic Facial Surgery


Love, Erin

Facebook: Bringing People Together and Ending Relationships Since 2004.

As many of you know, and I openly admit,  I have committed all of these Facebook annoyances at one time or another. However, I feel that I have matured in my social media ways and am ready to talk about how truly annoying facebook can be.  Let’s discuss the narcissism and strange behavior it brings out in people, and the good stuff….

Here we go ~

The check-in

Let me start this blog by admitting that I was ‘this’ person at one. The person that ‘checks in’ at  every location they enter.  Example, the gym (like anybody really cared that I was working out for the 24th time that week)  Well….that’s a lie, I rarely work out twice a week  but you get my drift.  Or ‘checking in’ at the hair salon. What?  You don’t want to know that I’m getting my grey hair touched up for the third time this month?  For those of you who aren’t on facebook – ‘checking in’ is informing everybody in the world exactly what location you are at and writing a commentary above it. For example; people actually ‘check-in’ at home and say something like,  “Back to the #HaighHouse and contrary to the BS Folgers has been feeding us for years, the best part of waking up is actually going back to sleep. Goodnight.”  And then 102 of this person’s closest friends ‘like’ the check-in and status.  Now, to be totally honest, I do still check in occasionally.  I had dinner with Aimee at Flemings last night and decided that yes, the world may want to know that I am eating a steak with my OC bestie and thought you would all certainly want to see our picture as well.  See, I still have my moments also.


Vague-booking – Another pet peeve of mine is the intentional vague facebook status update that prompts friends to wonder what in the world is going on with you.

Example status;

Lisa is;  “wondering if it is all worth it… and thinking that was a bad idea”
causing very concerned facebook friends to call and ask each other,  “have you talked to Lisa? She’s vague-booking again…. I haven’t seen her ‘check-in’ anywhere in a while.  I better “poke” her and see if she responds.

The bikini shot – If you are over, lets say 30 years old,  Please do not post a ‘selfie’ in your bikini. I don’t care how many ‘check-ins’ at the gym, hard work and dedication got you your bikini body.  If you are a grown woman posing in a  bikini for solicited ‘likes’ —- I will assume you are going through a mid-life crisis.


‘Liking’ your own status –  This is sort of redundant, don’t you think?  We already know that you think you are hilarious, you posted it, remember?  Liking your own status is the equivalent of high-fiving yourself in public.  True story.

Changing your relationship status – I have seen in a 24 hour period, let’s say Bob, going from ‘married to ‘single’ to ‘it’s complicated’ to ‘single.  Really Bob?  All of your facebook friends now know you are actually just ‘un-stable’.  Vague-booking usually follows the relationship status change….

Drunk-booking – I would urge you to stop this, but it’s just such great entertainment.  So carry on…

On a more serious note,  Facebook is commonly used to intentionally hurt people.  People say and do some pretty crappy  things over Facebook because it’s easy to hide behind the computer screen.  This actually just happened to me last week by someone I once considered a dear friend, and I was devastated when it was brought to my attention. I will not repeat the story, that would be stooping to her level.  Although, many of you already know about this incident because you called me after I was vague blogging about it…..

I’m joking about most of the above annoyances.  This is America…if you want to like your own status, that’s awesome. If you want to take pictures of your food and post them, I will even throw you a ‘like’.  Food is good.   Sometimes it’s great when people ‘check-in at a place so that you know where not to go 🙂 There really are many great aspects of Facebook.  Keeping in touch with family and friends, re-connecting with people you would have never found, new connections, sharing pictures. I have found Facebook to be fabulous for business, etc., but, it has also made me really aware at just how narcissistic it can make people. Remember, most people only post the good stuff.  “Just came back from a 15 mile run, having my 10 closest friends over after I do some quick yoga poses to talk about our trip to Sedona while sipping champagne all night.  Life is good.”   Leaving us readers thinking, Wow, my life totally sucks…I’m at home alone, heating up old chili and hoping a good Lifetime movie is on tonight. Social media posts are generally never an accurate depiction of a person’s  life .  On Facebook people can be whoever they choose to be.  Most people don’t talk about the un-glamorous stuff —unless they’re vague-booking about it.

By the way, are you following me on Facebook?


XX, Lisa

Oh and we never talked about the ‘hash tag’ on Facebook.  #Monday#Mondaynight #sad #wine #lonely #Lifetimemovie#loveyourself# =   Ummmmmm…. WHAT????

Are You Guilty?

Most of us are experts at something, whether official or self-proclaimed. And whatever your skill — accounting, gardening, choosing the shopping cart with perfectly aligned wheels — it can get a little annoying when you see someone doing it incorrectly.

As a skin care expert, I see clients every day and witness the effects of skin care regimens gone wrong. Bad products, outdated advice, lazy habits — all of which translate to a less-than-perfect complexion. Now, of course I know that you, my compliant patient,  don’t have these bad habits but some people do.  So let’s discuss, them.

Lying on your patient history disclosure;  this is a tool for me to give you the best treatment possible and avoid any dangerous situations; allergies, medications, reactions, etc.  It is not used as a judgement tool.  Don’t hide or be embarrassed by anything.  Yes it’s helpful to know if you are on your period, taking antidepressants, pregnant, have herpes, etc.  Things you would not imagine, can impact your treatment.  Oh and the ‘how many alcoholic beverages do you consume daily’ question?   Again not judging—If your skin is really dehydrated and you can’t get enough moisturizer on your face, sometimes you need a reminder that you are drinking  far more ounces of wine than water….you can’t blame your moisturizer for that.  Switch that intake …and problem solved!  By the way,  I have been to many of your parties, telling me you drink two glasses of wine a month ‘socially’…..well nevermind, I put that on all of my forms too.

Not using medical grade products; You may boast a beauty arsenal that rivals the local drugstore, but your lotions and potions may not all get along. Ingredients in different products can “fight” each other, negating their powers or causing skin irritation when used together.  For instance, Benzoyl peroxide and alpha hydroxy acids may deactivate retinoids, so don’t layer them.  Bring your products in to me and we can go through them together to make sure you are using the correct products together for optimal results.  The procedures we do in the office make a big difference.  However, what you do at home twice a day, everyday, has the most impact.
Not washing your face at night – EVERY Night;  Between touching your face throughout the day and being exposed to elements in the air, your face may be one of the dirtiest parts of your body by nightfall.  YUCK. Need I say more?
Using soap to wash your face;  Bar soap is formulated for the body, not the face, and our body skin is not the same as our facial skin. You’ve heard of pH, but you probably have no idea what it even means. It stands for ‘potential hydrogen,’ and when skin is healthy, it is pH balanced. Likewise, unhealthy skin is a byproduct of a pH level too high or too low. In this case, using a skin-stripping bar soap renders the pH level of the skin too high, making it alkaline, since the protective lipid barrier of the skin is disrupted. Let me break it down for you a little further: the skin is seriously dehydrated due to moisture loss from the stripping factor of the soap. So this can not only cause dry skin, but also will aggravate skin conditions such as eczema and rosacea. Not a pretty picture.
Counting your make-up as your sunscreen;  “Yes, I wear sunscreen everyday, it’s in my make-up.” – No, No, No ! Stop the make-up/ sunscreen partnership. This is a common fallacy that many of us choose to believe for convenience sake. Make-up doesn’t count as a sun protector. Sure, your skin is covered up but unless it is specifically designed to incorporate SPF protection, the make-up will do next to nothing to protect your skin from the sun. Make-up alone does not provide enough coverage, you would need seven times the normal amount of foundation and 14 times the normal amount of powder to get the sun protection factor on the label. And just a FYI, that is
 a- l- o- t of make-up. Apply sunscreen then your make-up. Period.
fish burp
In the end, the key to flawless skin inclues me, but is really up to you!