Here’s Your Sign

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Ok, so I was totally going to publish a skincare blog this time I swear. {Ok that’s a lie}. I feel like if you are reading my blog only for skincare answers you might just want to make an appointment with me, because lately we have other things to discuss. Like, I don’t think God likes it when you try and make deals with Him. At all. Turns out He’s not the betting kind.

Let me start at the beginning. I am completely addicted to Doctor Radio on Sirius Radio. I listen to everything: psychiatrists, primary care, gynecologists, cardiologists, dermatologists, etc., which has somewhat made me believe I am now a health professional. You know how some people get their Google degree? I have my Doctor Radio degree.  I will actually listen to an entire show (1 hour) on various healthcare topics and then go through my phone list trying to call people that I can share my information with. I will call Mariah, “Hi, do you have diabetes? No? No family members have diabetes? Ok… can I call you later?”  I need to find someone with diabetes. Or I’ll call Aimee after listening to a primary care doctor, “Aimee do you think your cough has turned into COPD? No? Ok… I need to call you back later I’m actually looking for somebody with COPD.”  I know, bad, bad habit. This is precisely why I never have my book club book read.  I’m busy continuing my education.

So, last week I take Blake to basketball practice and have 1-1/2 hours to kill. I am ecstatic because I can sit and listen to my show and not feel weird driving around for no reason to listen. I parked in the middle school parking lot, took off my flip flops and reclined my seat. NO~! They were talking about something I had already graduated from 😦 so I start flipping through the channels and end up on who else, Joel Olsteen. For those of you who don’t know who Joel Olsteen is, he’s a Christian mega church leader, speaker, etc. I actually cannot believe how many people this week had no idea who he is.  I mean his stuff is everywhere. But as you know, in life you always have those ‘one-uppers’. My friend Corrin for example is a church ‘one-upper’ — she was like, “No Lisa, I don’t know who Joel Olsteen is, I actually go to real church.”   I just stared at her.  Although I do get her point… you know like some people go to “real” medical school. Anyways, this blog is actually not about Joel Olsteen so whether you love him or hate him please do not write me about that.  I have no opinion. I just know he was on and for some crazy reason I kept him on, sitting in the middle of a parking lot, apparently trying to get right with God on a random Wednesday night in suburbia. It was actually eerie at points because it was like real church where you’re sitting there listening to the message and you’re like ummmm, this is weird, I feel like he’s talking to me. How does he know all of this stuff about me?  And you look around the parking lot feeling like Joel personally knows what’s going on, like in a minute he may bring up Doctor Radio.

So I listen to him for a while and then he closed his sermon asking, “Will you pray with me?”, you know, in his Texas accent. So I was like, “Ok Joel — sure I’ll pray with you”, and all I asked was for God to please let me know I’m on the right path in life, and if he could just send me a sign.  And then I told him that if he would give me a sign, I promised to stop reading horoscopes.  (I actually will read like twenty until I find one that I like). Joel then asked the listeners to call in and donate money and he would send me his book. And I’m like Joel,  I haven’t even read my last three book club books. I’m not buying your book.  And then he lost my attention.

A few minutes later Blake comes out of practice and we headed home. We were driving down a dark canyon that leads into my neighborhood and out of nowhere a deer runs full speed into my car.  Swear to God.  I made full blown eye contact with this deer before my car took him out. Blake screamed in terror as his Chick-fil-A went flying everywhere and the entire car shook. It. Was. Horrifying.  I’m assuming the deer did not limp away and the right side of my car didn’t handle it well either. Annnnnnd, I had no idea who to call, 911? The fire department? Animal control? AAA? Joel Olsteen? So I called my mother.

SO is it just me or was that sign a bit passive aggressive?  I hope this is ummmm, not a sign at all sign.  I think I’m going back to reading horoscopes—-the stars are so much more subtle.  And, back to Doctor Radio.

Be safe out there, it’s craZy!

Lisa

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